PREDICT YOUR FUTURE

Another powerful influencer of our decisions and style of life is the fear of the future.

As humans we are usually intimidated by the unknown. What we do not know really overwhelms us and destabilizes our confidence and coordination.

What we can't correctly predict tends to overpower the strength of our minds and capacities of our being and we fret and become afraid.

A matter as trivial as asking a girl out on a date can make a man sweat so much, bring anxiety and sleeplessness simply because he's not sure she would say yes or no.

Waiting for your turn in a job interview session, waiting for a list of shortlisted candidates for admission or even waiting for an examination or medical test result can be very intense and disorientating for most of us.

A meeting with your MD/CEO, high powered decision making delegation or even the owner of your place of employment can make you sweat so much in tension and apprehension simply because you can't predict correctly or precisely how that meeting would turn out.

You need to observe a group of die-hard football fans waiting for the final whistle in a crucial football encounter. These guys become everything but themselves because they lack the power to see the future and know exactly how the game would end.

As mankind, we do not have the power to tell what will happen even within the next 60 seconds, this, I must say is one of the powerful control measures nature has put over mankind, if not mankind would be as God.

Many of us today have made decisions, choices, and conclusions based on our fear of the future. We settled for much less than we are entitled to because we weren't sure the future could have anything better in store for us.

In fact the whole concept of risk is predicated on the unpredictable nature of outcomes and the future. If you can tell outcomes correctly, the concept of risk would cease to exist.

Many of us daily keep living lives that are basic, non-interesting, boring and bland. We wake up go out seek for subsistent living, return home and thank God for that day. There is nothing in and about our future that brings excitement, enthusiasm and delight. Our lives curve is on a downward trend. The graph is not spiking or climbing at all. We are somewhat boring.

Based on upbringing and previous disappointments in life we have totally relinquished the handle of our life possibilities and prospects to the dictates of the immediate.

We are reactionary in our ways and judgments. We rarely initiate any interesting life ambition or adventure purely out of the unpredictable nature of outcomes.

To bring it home, many of us today are in employment purely to make ends meet, many are in marriages to raise off springs, many are in friendships and relationships to address loneliness and enjoy companionship and benefits. If there are no essential gains in any venture in life we wouldn't bother with it. Our lives run purely on essential needs not ambition or adventure. Consequently we are bereft of the excitement, joy and satisfaction that come with achievements.

We attempt nothing hence we get nothing in reward.

In my submission, life is a whole bundle of opportunities, adventure and accomplishments. There is so much to do, gain learn and develop. Across sectors, structures and strata both in human interaction and natural or cosmic phenomenal, there abounds so much to do, unravel, build and conquer.

A life of fun is in attempts and discoveries; discovering your capacities and true potential as well as unraveling the mysteries of life and the world's system.

A life unfolding purely for survival can never be free from the worship of money. Incidentally, money is a terrible master but a wonderful servant.

If your perspective in life is limited to surviving and the quest for cash flow, your income, not you will determine where you live, your income not you will determine what you eat, your income not you will determine what you wear, your income not you will determine the car you drive and hey, your income not you may even determine the kind of spouse you settle for.

A life mode that is hoping for what tomorrow would bring may not achieve greatness and accomplish any phenomenal task.

A life lived under the theme of ‘no one knows tomorrow’ could be an irrelevant life.

It's really unfortunate that in life you can't really miss or truly appreciate what you've never experienced.

I often say to my friends who delight in purchasing fairly used cars that the day they buy a good brand new car, they will never want to invest in fairly used cars again.

If you've always lived in an apartment where you share the compound with many neighbours, you may never really appreciate the peace and privacy that comes with having the compound all to yourself.

If you've never lost a real and true friend, you may never appreciate all the good friends you have right now. If your parents are still alive and with you, you may never appreciate their presence until they're gone.

As humans, we hardly miss what we've never experienced.

Many of us today believe were living the life, enjoying the best life has got, all because we are somewhat comfortable financially. But beyond money is there anything more interesting, exciting and fulfilling for mankind? Yes of course, it's simply the ability to live a life of purpose, A life of reason a life with meaning.

If suddenly we're all being asked why we think we deserve to see tomorrow, do you have any convincing argument or reason why you should remain alive? Would your number one reason be ‘who will look after my kids?’ laughs, So African. Can I say to you that in some cultures outside of Africa, having children and raising offspring have become optional in marriages?

What exactly are you offering this world great enough for this world to still make room for you tomorrow?

May I say to you this morning that there is something for you to start and finish in this life before you depart? What exactly is your mission in life, living for the now and wanting to remain alive? Is your dream in life about preserving your genealogy? About being survived by many children and great grandchildren? 

Is that all you‘re chasing in life? I don't suppose that's all your life should be about as even chickens are survived by children and great grandchildren effortlessly, no you're much better than that!

What do you want to achieve in life before you depart? What's your vision and mission? Are you a captive of your mission or your mission is still in the parking lot? When do you intend to activate your reason for being alive in this world? What are the rules of your mission engagement? What are you squandering your life for? Where are you going? How do you intend to get there? Are you on track? Enjoy your day?

Written and Compose By: Muyiwa Afolabi (CEO Frontiers Consulting)

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THE ASSUMPTION THINKING.

We all want to be comfortable. We want a comfortable lifestyle; that life that would give us the peace that comes with meeting obligations, responsibilities, fitting in and self-preservation and personal pride. We just want to make sure were socially and economically okay.

We work so very hard, search for new things, seek fresh opportunities and try to put in our efforts in ensuring we are…okay.

A good, enjoyable, peaceful life is not an illusion. Happiness is for real, joy is for real, peace is for real, fulfilment is for real; these are not things that are impossible, these are not experiences that are mere imaginations, some people are actually happy, contented, comfortable and fulfilled.

Please understand me; a happy life is different from happiness as in emotional state. You can have a very happy life but still occasionally feel bad and unhappy on the account of events that occur in and around you that make you feel bad.

You can have a very happy life and occasionally your husband or wife or friend or boss or colleague would do something that'll make you unhappy, it does not mean you don't have a happy life, you still have a happy life you're just momentarily upset on the account of an issue.

A happy life is the pleasantness of your journey through life. It is the totality of how far you have come; where you're at and where you're headed. If your life thus far is something you can smile about and be happy about and the future looks promising and fulfilling then you have a happy life.

On the contrary if you look over your life, your choices and decisions; where you're at right now and the future makes you afraid and insecure then you probably don't enjoy a happy life.

A happy life is beyond temporary upsets and unpleasant occurrences; as even when an individual is struggling and unhappy in life, there are still moments of happiness anyway.

A happy life is a great life, a life of success according to your own unique and personal definition of success.

Is your life today in alignment with your personal definition of success? Would you be saying your dreams and expectations thus far has been your experience? Are you living a life different from what you really want? Is there a difference between your dreams and your reality?

Why is it taking so long to marry your reality and your dreams? At what point would your dreams become your reality? For how long would your dreams and your reality exist as two parallel lines?

For how long would you keep observing others doing what you can only wish; other people like you achieving your wishes, experiencing your wishes and enjoying what only exists in your own dream land?

If it's possible for others, why does it appear impossible for you? Don't you suppose it's time to sit back and think about finding real solutions and answers? If many theories you've heard, read and assumed aren't working as expected don't you suppose it's time to try something entirely new? Or you're only hoping and assuming things would fall in place one day? Hmmm.

One of my colleagues began to share a business idea with me; for him it was novel and interesting, and appeared smart; it looked really good on paper and he was convinced many people would buy into it.

I asked him a pertinent question, if we invest so much in funds and man hours into the idea how much minimum returns are we looking at and when are we likely to deliver certain revenue in returns? He smiled and gave a common response; well he hoped people would like it and patronize and if they do; mark the words, if, then we should be able to deliver so so amount in numbers.

I smiled; he was missing something crucial in today's business environment; the terrene is too treacherous to invest money and man hours in an ‘if’ situation. Assumption is a great killer in today's business.

The excitement, speed, dynamism and operations in today's business world has become a situation of ‘get it right the first time’ If you want to stay ahead and enjoy good growth, you strategy, tactics, and decisions must be tight. Assumption is a risk too high to take in business today and guess what? it's too high to take in individual lives too.

Let me take you back a bit to your days in school; as an undergraduate, you were told and you agreed and assumed if you did very well, study a good course and graduated with very good grades, your life would be okay, you won't have problems as such, it would be smooth sailing.

But if you observe, you may just discover that in the real world; after school life, your assumption may have been flawed. You will see many course mates with good grades from highly reputable universities struggling to get jobs and the ones with lower grades or less prestigious courses and less prestigious higher institutions getting the good jobs and earning good salary; faulty assumption, mistaken beliefs.

Even in social lives, it is assumed the serious, focused and moral young ladies are the ones who would eventually end up getting married in good time to kind, serious minded and responsible gentlemen.

But if you observe, it may surprise you, the playful, unserious, happy go lucky, fun, party and club girl could be the ones getting married in good time to the nice, gentle and responsible guys and the so called good girls, serious and focused ones are the ones still praying and hoping to be married one day. Hmmm. Faulty assumption, mistaken belief.

It is also a common thinking that if you get a well-paying job, you will be okay, but check it out, most employees in well-paying employment today have sub-zero account balances; most of them are in debt, they owe so much and are constantly broke. More money made them debtors not comfortable, for some, their drivers and other non-management staffs are building houses, senior managers owe, paying for cars and gadgets - faulty assumptions, mistaken belief.

It is also a common statement that good success would come to anyone who pours himself into his job or career. I have come across and counselled very many hardworking; practically toiling individuals who have nothing to show for it after many years, hard work is never equals to success, faulty assumptions, mistaken beliefs.

It's also popular to think if you have dreams, goals and aspirations and you listen to coaches, teachers and motivational speakers and read their books things will work out. But I know many people, who's read books and listened to speakers for many years and till now can only quote them and refer to what they said. In their personal lives and with their goals, they have nothing to show.

Dear friend it is futile to assume the answers to life's questions. You must know the answers to your quest in life. Don't just assume if you do this and do that things would work out, you must be sure. If it doesn't work out as planned, let it not be because you weren't sure, let it be that something unexpected frustrated your strategy.

Talking now of strategies, do you have a personal strategy for accomplishments in life.

Brands have strategies; companies have strategies, don't you then think you should have a strategy for accomplishing your own purpose?

Why do you set the kind of goals you set? How relevant are those goals to what you want and where you're going? Do you make up your mind to read two books a month because Muyiwa Afolabi said you should? Or in view of where you're going in life, reading two books a month is necessary?

Even if reading is important, what kind of materials or books should you be reading?

Goal setting must be purposeful. A friend recently called me and was lamenting seriously about his career. He works in the corporate affairs of a company and was hoping to become the public affairs manager someday; a very hardworking staff, committed, dedicated and studious. But year after year this dream keeps eluding him, he doesn't know why but I do and I've told him why.

Becoming a public affairs manager is not just about hard work or being committed or dedicated.

It's a craft; you must be charismatic, intelligent with words, have a good command of English and be a people person.

These should be the areas my friend should be focusing on; it's not just in working very hard and sucking up to the boss.

In achieving your purpose, you must be it, to have it. In life you really don't chase your dreams, you attract your dreams by becoming the dream, your dream is not ahead of you; it's on the inside of you. You manifest your dreams, you don't chase it. You grow and develop to become it; then the world would acknowledge you have what it takes and patronize you and pay you for it.

Many of us are anxious to improve our circumstances but not anxious to improve our selves. Our circumstances can't improve if we do not improve. Ability, not ambition, delivers dreams. Develop in you what it takes to handle and deliver your dream and the dream would naturally gravitate towards you.

It is you that you need to work on, it's not the school you went to, the grades you finished with, the money you're making or the man you think should be toasting you not the other not so classy girl, when you become it, all you want would find you.

Written and Compose By: Muyiwa Afolabi (CEO Frontiers Consulting)

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9 Proven Ways To Get People To Take You Seriously

If you're going to get anywhere in business, you need people to take you seriously.

According to the research, you can increase your credibility with the right presentation, knowledge, and people skills.

(1) Let people talk about themselves.

Here's a secret to making a good impression: Let people talk about themselves.

According to Harvard research, talking about yourself stimulates the same brain regions as sex or a good meal. 

"Activation of this system when discussing the self suggests that self-disclosure ... may be inherently pleasurable," Scientific American reports. 

And when people talk about their experiences, they become more vulnerable to one another, and when they become more vulnerable to one another, they form social bonds and coinvest in one another's welfare. 

(2) Dress the part.

"Appearance is our first filter," says Sylvia Ann Hewlett, author of the book "Executive Presence." "And it's happening all the time."

Princeton researchers have found that it takes about 100 milliseconds to register a first impression, or as long as a hummingbird flaps its wings. 

"The really good news here is that it's about polish, grooming, and being put together," Hewlett says. "It's not about the precise shape of your body, texture of your hair, or the designer you wear."

You don't have to wear a gray suit all the time, she says. Instead, pay attention to how the best-dressed people in your organization and industry put themselves together, then pattern after them. 

(3) Master the handshake.

A strong handshake isn't a matter of squeezing somebody's paw. 

It's a matter of presence.

Esquire's Tom Chiarella details how to exude it: 

On the street, in the lobby, square your shoulders to people you meet. Make a handshake matter — eye contact, good grip, elbow erring toward a right angle. Do not pump the hand, unless the other person is insistent on just that. Then pump the hell out of their hand. Smile. If you can't smile, you can't be gracious. You aren't some dopey English butler. You are you.

A handshake like that shows that you're paying respect to the person you're talking to, and as science has confirmed, giving respect gets respect. 

(4) Keep your posture expansive.

Your posture has a huge effect on the way you feel, the way you present yourself, and how other people receive your presence. 

For instance, if you do the standard "power pose" of keeping your shoulders open and arms wide, that will tell your hormone system to release the chemicals needed to make you look and feel more confident. 

"If you take an expansive pose, it can actually lead to power," MIT professor Andy Yap tells Business Insider. 

5) Know what's going on in the world.

The best-selling game developer Valve likes to hire "T-shaped" employees, meaning they have deep expertise in one area coupled with interest across a range of subjects. 

That pattern can be expanded to anybody's career. 

If you work in business, then "be up to speed on changes in your industry so you can speak about them intelligently," says Roberta Matuson. The "Suddenly in Charge" author recommends reading business news daily "so you can speak intelligently on business matters."

But you need a broad base of knowledge, too — so keep up with science, tech, and popular culture. 

To improve your reading habits, read this. 

(6) Be ridiculously prepared.

"Ignorance is one of the professional world's least respectable traits — if not the worst," Roberto Rocha writes at AskMen. "If you want your ideas to count, be better informed than everyone else."

In other words, you need to develop a ridiculously deep knowledge of your subject area. 

Executives like Marissa Mayer and Elon Musk are known for pulling apart any idea that gets pitched their way. Count on the pitches you make to be scrutinized, and have your arguments prepared ahead of time. 

It's a matter of "embodying your intellectual horsepower," says Hewlett.

(7) Tell people stories.

REUTERS/Adnan Abidi

Numbers impress — but they're not enough to connect with people. 

Take it from TED Talks: The most successful presentations are about 65% stories and 25% figures, with the remainder an explanation of your credibility. 

Sheryl Sandberg realized this just before giving her groundbreaking TED Talk in 2010. 

"I was planning to give a speech chock full of facts and figures, and nothing personal," she said in an interview.

But before she went on stage, a friend stopped her, saying that she looked out of sorts. Sandberg said that as she was leaving home that day, her daughter was tugging at her leg, asking her not to go. 

Why not tell that story, her friend asked her. Sandberg listened — and launched a movement.

(8) Watch your tone.

If you say a statement with the intonation of a question, that's called "upspeak."

If you're ending your sentences with a higher tone than you began with, then you'll sound unsure of what you're saying — even if you're really not. 

In a recent survey, 57% of 700 professionals said that they think that upspeak makes people sound less credible. 

"The numbers speak for themselves," says strategy consultant Bernard Marr. "Upspeak has no place at work. If you would like a thriving career, then simply don't do it!"  

(9) Stay confident — and humble.

Venture capitalist and "Heart, Smarts, Guts, and Luck: What It Takes to Be an Entrepreneur and Build a Great Business" coauthor Anthony K. Tjan says that garnering respect requires marrying humility to confidence. 

"You need enough self-confidence to command the respect of others, but that needs to be counter-balanced with knowing that there is much you simply don't know," he writes. "Humility is the path towards earning respect, while self-confidence is the path towards commanding it."

Bonus: The more you know what you don't know, the more eager you'll be to learn. 

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