There is this popular saying that variety is
the spice of life. The beauty, glamour and appeal in this life are very
strongly tied to the awesome number of different things that make up our world.
The birds, trees, rivers, stones, vegetation, animals, flowers and even the
stars and galaxy; the ever changing weather, all make up the excitement and
ever changing diversities that make our world go round.
The desert, the forest, the grassland, the
Iceland, the urban, the rural, the cities and villages all have their flavors
and uniqueness, hence making the world such a beautiful place. There is indeed
beauty in variety. Even as humans we differ in our looks and appearances;
difference in race, color, hair, eyes, skin, height and even gender is such an
interesting and intense part of living that makes life enjoyable and
worthwhile. I can’t imagine or picture a world where everyone and everything is
the same.
Can you really picture a world where only one
type of every creature exists? Can you imagine a world where there is only one
type of animal, one type of bird, one type of tree, one type of weather, one
race, one culture, one language, one music, everyone is the same color,
same stature, same height and look exactly the same. Imagine a world where all
humans are men – no women. How boring and uninteresting such a world would be.
Variety indeed is the spice of life.
As beautiful as variety is and as much fun as
we derive from having options and variations of the same sort to choose from,
tragically, many of us can’t handle it when other people are different from us.
This attitude may not be a conscious one but in life, many of us can’t actually
handle and we struggle to tolerate others that are different from us especially
in thinking, mind-set and orientation.
You see, we are all raised and brought up
differently by our parents, relatives and influenced differently by the
society. The processes, methods, procedures and values in life and of living
vary from individual to individual. This may be as a result of our tribe,
tradition, religion and family norms. All these factors of influence actually
make us very different hence influencing the way we see life and deal with
life.
From my personal experience as one with the
privilege to have been born and raised in the northern part of Nigeria, while
in the north I was raised with so much faith and belief that whatever happens
in life, either good or bad, it is the way the almighty wants it to happen.
Hence as a typical northerner I was more daring and confident, believing
everything is in God’s hands. However when I relocated to the south, I realized
a typical southerner is raised believing there are so many wicked and evil
people around including close friends and members of the family with powers to
harm and attack diabolically. Hence I’ve met and interacted with many overly
careful, suspicious, distrusting and fearful - according so much respect to
perceived enemies and evil powers. Many of them are given to religion but truly
lack in morals and character. I believe for many, the base for their being
religious is this fear and insecurity.
Our upbringing, cultures, traditions,
religions and experiences make us different; we see issues differently, judge
differently, react differently and handle situations differently. I believe
very much that these differences rather than bringing division should make us
stronger providing a scenario where variety of ideas, knowledge and experiences
can be pooled wherein the best of the lot carries the day and we all can
subscribe to it and deliver the best in outcomes for the good of everyone.
Times are changing very fast, new ways of
doing things become outdated so very fast if you’re not careful you’ll be as
old as a dinosaur in your ideas and reasoning if you don’t keep up with the
trend.
I can’t help but remember an incidence that
occurred many years ago, my mother had just returned from the United Kingdom
after studies in the early eighties, and she was suspended from the Choir in
our church then because her hair was permed! In those days, permed hair, Jerry
curls and Bob Marley braids were a huge, unforgivable sin – it was the height
of worldliness. It was satanic, demonic and wayward. I look around today and
see permed hair, braids; color one, color two, color four, color 33, color 99j
attachments and even hair extensions worth hundreds of thousands of Naira with
many religious and devoted people today and I say to myself … what a wonderful
world.
Times are changing, cultures, belief systems
are changing making life easier, better and more interesting. The only aspect
of our lives I’ll insist must never change, be compromised or diminished is our
values, morals, good character and ethics – things if altered can bring about
destructive consequences.
My dear friend, I want to appeal to you this
morning that you should please get out of your box. Don’t expect everyone to be
like you, think like you, understand like you, react like you and judge like
you. You are not the standard of perfection because you also have many
weaknesses and may be postulating ideologies that are quite retrogressive.
Judge every matter from the perspective of
outcomes. Is the consequence destructive or constructive, will it make things
better or make it worse? Don’t hold on to processes, methods and procedures
because that’s the way it’s always been. Get out of that box and think
differently.
Creativity, new ideas, innovation and speed
rules in superior performance today. We are tired of that archaic way of
thinking and doing things, ‘what’s new?’ should be your most frequently asked
question. Be willing to learn new things, new ways and new methods. Please
unlearn outdated ways and approaches in life.
I believe a major drawback in many developing
countries when trying to justify their many errors and misconduct in nation
management and governance is comparing themselves in age with leading economies
and developed nations that they are much younger and nascent.
When America was 52 years old, there were no
cell phones, internet, satellite television and this level of global
interaction. Third world countries have an edge a very great one, developed
nations today never had hence, age is not a good basis upon which the pace in
nation building and development can be measured or judged.
My dear friend, don’t get stuck in your box,
break that box and connect with the variety around you and in others. Accept
others and see the good in them. Because someone is not like you does not make
the person inferior or wrong, you’re just different.
Don’t expect everyone in your office, team or
organization to think like you, judge like you and manage exactly like you,
you’re all different. If you’re the prototype in your office and everyone in
your office is your replica, that office I promise you is dead, because they
will replicate your weaknesses and there will be an abundance of your strength.
Variety is the fuel of any team or business.
As long as you do things my way I’ll accept
you and be happy with you, is an unfair expectation from anyone and it puts
pressure on the other person be it a colleague, a team mate or subordinate,
even your spouse.
In life relationships are more important than
accomplishments. Don’t destroy your relationships because you expect everyone
around to fit into your world and your box, break out of your box, deal with
the world as it is not as you want it to be.
Written and Compose By: Muyiwa Afolabi (CEO Frontiers Consulting)
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